There are as many variations of agile processes as there are teams, so I'm just going to speak directly about what I've seen work and fail without excessive qualifying language and trust people to have the judgement to know what's relevant to their situation. I'll also use the terms/language I've gotten used to over the years without attempting to translate to other glossaries. The agile manifest was originally a statement of values, not a specific bureaucratic process.
If your iteration planning meeting is taking even most of a single day, then something is going very wrong. The most recent on site full time job I worked had about 15 participants in the typical meeting, and we usually boxed it to within an hour. On a good day we'd dispatch with it in just 15 minutes.
Why the obsession with keeping it short? Well full team meetings are expensive in terms of time, but the bigger value is: practices that streamline this process tend to solve political or process dysfunctions. I won't say everything in that of