What role does empathy play in your life and how has it helped you?
Empathy has played a huge role in my life. I have dissolved many of my own facades by becoming more connected and open. I feel as though I have always been more of an empath. I can just feel the energy of others. However, I truly believe that becoming empathetic towards myself has really been a big help for me in better connecting with others. I am learning that by knowing and understanding oneself more deeply, you can then relate more effectively with another. It breaks down this superficial barrier based on ego.
How does empathy help you build better software?
Prior to reading a few of those articles, I hadn't put much thought around empathy and technology development. Perhaps that is because I operate from that state often. Empathy helps build better software by constructing and developing from a place of understanding and connecting. I can have a great idea, in concept, but without gathering insight and perspective from the user side, it will remain just a concept. Having empathy brings ideas to life.
Why is empathy important for working on a team?
It's like opening a puzzle box and dumping the pieces onto the table. You have to learn about each piece individually in order to see how it contributes to the whole of the picture. When integrating a variety of people, which means a variety of personal stories, a variety of skill sets, a variety of knowledge; without coming from a place of understanding you will hardly know what each person brings to the table. Empathy truly opens the door to helping others feel more connected to the whole of something and belief in their ability to showcase their skills in helping with the bigger picture. One of my coaches use to say "We are only as strong as our weakest link". While I don't think anyone is ever a weak link, I took from that notion that we are only at our greatest strength when we utilize the strengths of everyone.
Describe a situation in which your ability to empathize with a colleague or teammate was helpful.
Having played a team sport for most of my life, looking back, empathy came into play often. We had just been instructed to "get on the line" to run suicide sprints. The rule was that we all had to make it back across the starting line under the time prescribed and if we all did not make it, that sprint wouldn't count. Well one of my teammates struggled to make the time and our sprint did not count. So I went and stood next to her and with tears in her eyes she looked at me and said "I'm sorry, I just don't think I can make this". I looked at her square in her eyes and said "I understand how you feel but I also believe that you can. Take a deep breathe, now blow all of that disbelief out. We can do this. I'm right here with you". She took her deep breathe and I could see the focus in her eyes. We lined up and took off. That was our last sprint that night because we ALL made it under the prescribed time.
When do you find it most difficult to be empathetic in professional settings?
I would say that in the past the most difficult time for me to be empathetic was when I felt like I was being attacked or not being heard/understood. I find it difficult when a dictatorship style vs a leadership style is being used. When someone is completely shut off from seeing/hearing another persons perspective or take on a situation. I have also worked in situations where the amount of time someone has vested trumps their actual productivity. For example, I might have only been working with a company for a few months but became one of the fastest and most efficient producers and I was overlooked for promotion for someone who was slower and less efficient but had been working at that company for 10 years.
How can you improve your skills when faced with these scenarios?
I can improve my skills by continuing to remain open and understanding. I can improve my skills by continuing to learn and grow. I can improve my skills by observing and listening. I can improve my skills by being that which I seek and dissolving any ego driven mindset. A quote that I recently heard really made a deep impression on me: "Have a mind that is open to everything and attached nowhere". It is in the attachment that suffering occurs.